“Uncle Scar, you’re so weird”

“You have no idea”

-The Lion King

This should be the quote of my family… seriously.

How do I know I grew up in a weird family? Because while the kids were hunting Easter eggs, the adults were walking around hunting beer cans.

And our Easter eggs weren’t always filled with candy and quarters, sometimes if you were the lucky one that year, you got an egg filled with pickled herring. You quickly learned not to open your eggs over the candy basket.

Happy Easter everyone!

This story was told me to by a crazy Aunt when I was probably close to 6 years old. I remember sitting squished in the back seat of the car alongside a few cousins, and driving past the gas station on the corner to her house. She was in the passenger seat and every once in awhile she’d get so into the story she’d twist her body around to look us directly in the eye. I’m pretty sure it was summer time, but with her telling it, we couldn’t resist a Halloween story. I’ve decided to post it now instead of in the fall, because of her great story telling in all seasons.

“Look What I Can Do With My Ruby Red Lips and My Long Fingernails”

 (Names are totally not changed, we are an important part of this story)

Once Upon A Time… There were five kids who lived across from a creepy old house. Their parents told them never to cross over the fence to this house, because it was rumored to be haunted. So the kids, Nolan, Taeja, Sarah, Madison and Nathan, always played in the safety of their own backyard. One day they were outside playing soccer when Nathan, who was very strong, kicked the ball all the way over the top of the fence!

They had to get their ball back to keep playing, so Nolan, who was very brave, lead the group through a slot in the wood fence. The old house had paint chipping off the door and shutters falling off their hinges. It looked like no one had lived in the house for a very long time. The ball lay in the overgrown grass near the rickety front porch.The group slowly walked up to the house.

“Did you hear something” Nolan whispered to the group?

“You’re just trying to scare us!” Madison said. They slowly inched closer to the ball.

“Look what I can do with my Ruby Red Lips and my Long Fingernails…”

This time they all heard it. There was a voice, and it was coming from inside the house.

“Maybe we should just go back” Sarah said grabbing the ball.

“No, I wanna know who that is” said Taeja.

The group continued up the steps of the front porch and into the abandoned house. They crossed through spiderwebs with their arms up to guard their face. The house was empty and everything was lined with a layer of dust.

“Look what I can do with my Ruby Red Lips and my Long Fingernails…”

There it was again, a woman’s voice repeating the same thing. It sent chills down all their spines.

“Look what I can do with my Ruby Red Lips and my Long Fingernails…”

It was coming from up the stairs. Trying to be as quiet as possible all five kids creeped up the stairs. They heard them sqqueeeaakk with each step. Everything was dark at the top of the steps, except for a small glimmer of light coming from under one door way.

“Look what I can do with my Ruby Red Lips and my Long Fingernails…”

The voice was louder now, and they knew they would find their answer behind the lit doorframe.

“Nolan, you go first, you’re the oldest” they all decided. Nolan ever-so-slowly, without making a sound, pushed open the door. Everyone’s heart was racing with the suspense.

Inside sitting at a mirror was an old woman with long gray hair. She turn to look at the kids when she noticed their entrance.

“Look what I can do with my Ruby Red Lips and my Long Fingernails…” She whispered at them in a raspy voice.

She raised one long fingernail to her red lips…

and went “blllbblllbbblllbb”

(The sound your mouth makes when you strum a finger up and down over your lips.)

Yes, she totally got us.

P.S. It was very hard to retell this story as amazing as my Aunt, I hope I did it justice. Also, if you’re interested in another retelling (I sometimes can’t help but google everything) here’s what I found. In our minds, my Aunt will always be the original author of this story.

Big Circle, Little Dot

I totally forgot about this until I saw my cousin do this to her daughter.

Big Circle, Little Dot

Question Mark, Marks the Spot

Elephants Stamping Up Your Back

Spiders Crawling Down Your Spine

Cool Breeze, Light Squeeze

Now You Got The Shiver-ies

I loved this as a kid! We had a couple other versions, but this one was always my favorite.

March is gone?? I guess when you spend 13 days two time zones over the month really flies by. I did have some non-California highlights though-

Definitely Number One- I was reminded of the value of writing. I received a letter, and it reminded me of the hope you can find in someone else’s thoughts. I remembered why I thought saving memories was so important. It was reiterated to me that learning through someone else’s voice, even if you were there, or already know the information, is an amazing part of our human experience.

J and I ran in our first 5K, although it might not be a huge step towards a healthier lifestyle since we ate bacon on the way and had a bloody mary at the end.

We started working our garden spot; tilling and throwing out rocks. I forgot how much work that was! We also transplanted some flowers. We had some beautiful days that were great for working outside.

We had a scary patch in March too, and had to make a last minute trip home to see my grandma. Although she is doing well now, a silent car ride and wondering if you were going to need the black pants you packed sucked, to say the least. It was nice to be home though and spend a few days with my family again.