We have never met, but I sat in the back row at your funeral and watched the folded flag get passed to your crying family. I heard people eulogize you, and tell your life as if you were a dead man dying. In a funeral where I should have felt sad for the people you left behind, with their aching hearts for your presence, I felt sad for you. That your life had been summed up in a matter of minutes, and all I could feel was contempt for the speakers who would do this to a human life.
Because there must have been a life there. Because of you my husband always pumps my gas and never gives me a card on my birthday. If you touched no one else’s life, you touched his. This is what should have been said at your funeral:
“Sir, I have never met you but I am reminded of you every year on my birthday. I am reminded of what a great man you were; a loving husband and admired coach. I know you, even though you do not know me, through the people you have touched. Your life will live on through the descendants of your heart, because even though we are not related by blood, I carry you with me.”
I did not get to say those things to the people that came to tell you goodbye, and I do not know what they took away from that day. But I did get to sit at a bar, on thin wobbly stools, beside your ashes, and it was an honor to share that drink with you.
Monthly Archives: February 2013
Tattoo
When I was younger I remember my mother wanting a tattoo, and my dad telling her that if she put a picture of it on the wall and she liked it after 3 months, or 6 months, or some amount of time, that she could get it. I never saw the picture- and she never got that tattoo.
Aug 27th, 2012, 169 days ago, I put my picture up. And for the last 169 days I’ve still wanted this tattoo.
I’ve wanted a tattoo for a long time, but I never had that “picture” to hang on the wall. I could never make up my mind about something I’d really like enough to have with me forever. After I got married and moved so far from home I decided I wanted to get something with my brother. Because I’ve only got 1, so he’s the absolute best (I almost said he’s the bomb and then thought he might not appreciate the 1990’s compliment). I wanted something more than our DNA, which we had no choice in, to link us together. I want people to ask me why I have this tattoo, and say I got it with my brother, and it binds us together.
We looked at some stuff for awhile, but none of it really spoke to me.
Until recently when I found my forever ink, my constant reminder. Something that’s not about my past, or just the present or what I want in the future, but all of it combined.
N 43 51’ 58.0367”
W 103 31’ 56.1533”
This is the place where I feel whole. Where I simultaneously feel so small in the world and yet so meaningful. Where my family spent almost every vacation. The memories and love I have from here are overwhelming. It was somewhere I even took my husband when we were still dating and wanted him to love as much as me.
It’s Native American history, it’s nature, it’s Harley-Davidson, it’s tears outside a frozen lake, it’s family, it’s friends, it’s meditation, it’s a party, it’s a cold ride, it’s my dad overcoming disease and it will be our ashes.
The only problem is… getting J on board. He hates tattoos, apparently. Although I’ve heard him say how hot those rocker/50’s girls are with all their tattoos. And, he even said he’d get one, one time, in a Waffle House, with witnesses, and it wasn’t even 2 am.
I’ve been leaving hints and sending him messages at work… http://imgfave.com/view/2565757. But he’s not budging. In fact recently he’s just been ignoring the idea. Whatev’s… I’ll keep trying
News Update
So when I sit in my office I read a lot of “news”. I put news in quotes here because I think I should use the term loosely. It’s not really like politics, war, business news, which I sometimes glance at, but more like entertainment, Yahoo! news. I thought I’d share, because today was a pretty good news day.
They’re going to stop running the mail on Saturday. This seems both relevant and important. Although, I don’t really get much mail, I do like the excuse to walk outside to our box each day. Without mail on Saturday, I might not have a reason to go outside.
Monopoly got a new playing piece “sassy cat”. Which apparently beat out a dog, guitar, diamond ring and robot. I’d have voted for the cat too, obviously.
I’d like to share a health related article with you, but I have to skip that section as it makes me paranoid about dying before I’m 30. And I’m pretty sure Joey is tired of getting texts about things that are going to kill us, and then him explaining to me how GoogleHealth isn’t an accurate representation of research.
And in S&J personal news updates… there’s really nothing much.
Dang, makes it hard to write a news update when all we’ve done recently is work. We’re booked for about the next 8 weekends with matches, and that 9th free one I’m sure will fill up before we get there.
I think we are however in the market for a new toothbrush holder. Since we’ve been doing a little bit more house updating it’s about time we got some house “stuff” to look like people not only hoard belongings here, but actually live here. We had to get rid of the last one because someone a little tipsy knocked it over into the sink and broke it. But more importantly GaterBait liked to sit in the sink and chew on the bristles. But she only ever chewed on J’s brush… strange. Now that we’re short one toothbrush eating cat we might be adult enough to manage a new toothbrush holder, however there is still the tipsy culprit who knocked it over in the first place.
Confession
Confession: I am addicted to crappy teenage television shows.
Most recently its been Vampire Diaries, and before that Gossip Girl.
In fact its a good thing we don’t actually have a TV or I’d be stuck in front of it all the time. Now I have to watch whatever is recently added on Netflix. Which I of course do by watching the entire season in a weekend and then feeling depressed when it’s over.
All this TV watching has reminded me of the most fantastic TV week of my life (aside from when the original Power Rangers was on, and it was followed by Wish Bone, nothing will be better than that). But the most fantastic adult TV week of my life, happened in college, when I did have cable. There was some promotion where we were granted the greatest channel to grace television. The Game Show Network. Ah, the name of it makes me smile. It had everything from “Family Feud”, “The Newlywed Show” and “Baggage”. I’m sure I discovered it because Jeopardy started about the time that I came home from class. But after Jeopardy, there was a whole world of game shows that I didn’t know existed! If there’s something I like more than teenage vampire love drama, it’s game shows. I would race home after class to catch those shows. I would even call J after watching them at night and give him a play by play of what happened. “Can you believe she guessed that?!?” “Oh you won’t believe what was in their baggage!” (Obviously he loves me a lot because he let me relive game shows to him.)
After about a week I knew I had to share this great find with my roommates. How had they, the girls who did homework, ate supper and slept in front of the TV not know about this channel?!? But alas, as soon as I decided to enlighten their lives and give them a reason to race home too, our promotion was over. The worst part was the cost was too high for us poor college students to upgrade.
I still like to reminisce about that fantastic period of time. I was recently reminded of it while in a BBQ restaurant in downtown Birmingham… with bars on the windows… and bullet holes in the walls… I mean the food was delicious… Anyway, I miss TGSN. But I also miss Moo Mesa, and no one seems to remember them at all. So I’ll just settle for some vampires.